Joy and Pain

I was listening to Dear Younger Me, by Mercy Me. It got stuck on my phone and wouldn't advance so figured God was wanting me to pay attention. What caught my attention... " If I had known then, what I know now, the condemnation would have had no power My Joy my Pain would have never been my worth." What caught my attention was the word Joy. Or lack thereof. I had a friend who constantly said when she got something she wanted, "I'm so blessed." I had to grit my teeth. Christians are taught to do that. We think giving "glory to God" is pleasing to him. Here's my perspective. So the person struggling with depression..or the mother who lost a child...or the kid struggling at school...they aren't blessed? So what are they? Cursed? Is God mad at them? Ignoring them? Teaching them a lesson? I think Christians have just found a way to sanction their bragging, by giving him credit. Thank God in your closet. Make it a sweet moment between the two of you, instead of an occasion to make your neighbor wonder why God isn't blessing them. But I digress....how are we defined by joy? I understood being defined by pain. I'm familiar. But joy? Who wouldn't want to be defined by that?? I realized that's even worse....if we are defined by our levels of joy, what does it say when it's absent? What is wrong with the Christian who is not living in joy? It's an expectation that has landed on believers like flies on...well, you know what. When, oh when, will christians stop being fake? Let me see the day Lord. You know what? Life is hard. For everyone. Christians aren't magically protected. He never promised we would be. You can find scriptures and take them out of context and make them say that. But it's not true. He will be with you, and won't leave you. That you can count on. So lets reframe that. (Outside of consequences of stupid behavior) I can and might get cancer or some other life altering event that causes pain, or hardship or even death. It doesn't mean I'm not blessed. It doesn't mean God is trying to teach me something, or I'm cursed. It's not a spiritual attack. It's because I live in a broken world, full of sin and disease, that is slowly passing away. This isn't what God originally planned, or what he has prepared for us in the future. But it's right now. And if the worst happens, he will not leave me or forsake me. He will go through with me. Even to the end. He will not heal me if I find the right key, the right words, enough faith, enough prayers, the right prayers, a complete lack of doubt. He heals, so I ask. But it's not a statement of my spiritual health if it doesn't happen. Faith, is in a person, not outcomes. If my faith is in outcomes, it's not faith in God. My trust needs to be in Him and his love alone. I'm preaching to myself. Sometimes these things swirl around in my head, and writing them down helps me write them on my heart where I can cling to them in real life. I so don't want to teach anymore, but simply share my life, and listen to how God does it in others.