Do I really believe Jesus is coming back? Would I continue to live the same way if I did?
Don't think much of the church is living with this reality. It's kind of pie in the sky talk. What about the here and now...."don't be so heavenly minded your no earthly good."
I'm thinking...unless I'm heavenly minded, I won't be any earthly good at all to anybody. I believe Jesus IS coming back. I'm praying for it. And I'm changing with this heart understanding.
Jesus does not come back as a lamb. He doesn't come back as a baby. He doesn't come back as a servant. These are the only paradigms we seem to have. He comes back as a Lion...Judge...and Bridegroom King. He comes into Jerusalem on a Horse, the symbol of war, not a donkey. Jesus IS, Lion AND Lamb, Sacrifice AND High Priest, Servant AND King. It's both/and. Not either/or. Our God is a jealous God. Not with petty jealousy as we tend to on earth....but holy...He wants all of us, because of His great love, like a husband passionately in love with His Bride. Why are we offended at God's anger? It doesn't mean He isn't love, in fact it points to an even greater love for all in the earth. Judgements are coming in the earth. Blessed are those who are not offended in Me, Jesus said. Selah....(meaning...put that in your pipe and smoke it!). I miss Him and want Him to come back. I will seek Him, and I will work...but the Spirit and this particular Bride say "come".
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The Foolishness of God
One of my leaders told a story he had firsthand knowledge of. Someone he knew was waiting in an airport, and was praying, "God, is there anything you want? Someone you'd like me to talk to?"
God spoke and said, " go stand on your head in front of that vending machine." He said," NO WAY! That's not the voice of God! That's just stupid, He doesn't want me to do that!" He argued in his mind, but the urgency kept building to go stand on his head in front of the vending machine, and finally, unable to withstand the pressure, he went and did it. In moments a guy came rushing up to him saying, "why are you doing that!???" He told the man, "well, I'm a follower of Jesus, and He told me to stand on my head in front of this vending machine." The guy started sobbing! God had been speaking to him for 3 years, chasing him down, and just moments before, he had said, "ok Jesus, if this is you, make a guy stand on his head in front of that vending machine. " He gave his life to Christ right there.
Oh, Lord, make me that foolish.
God spoke and said, " go stand on your head in front of that vending machine." He said," NO WAY! That's not the voice of God! That's just stupid, He doesn't want me to do that!" He argued in his mind, but the urgency kept building to go stand on his head in front of the vending machine, and finally, unable to withstand the pressure, he went and did it. In moments a guy came rushing up to him saying, "why are you doing that!???" He told the man, "well, I'm a follower of Jesus, and He told me to stand on my head in front of this vending machine." The guy started sobbing! God had been speaking to him for 3 years, chasing him down, and just moments before, he had said, "ok Jesus, if this is you, make a guy stand on his head in front of that vending machine. " He gave his life to Christ right there.
Oh, Lord, make me that foolish.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Home for the weekend!
Home for a weekend break while Gwen attends a function with her family. Left Thursday night at 9pm, our newest class PureHeart, had just split into small groups but we went ahead and left to make it to Warrenton so we could leave early in the morning and make it home by 2:30pm Friday. Made it with 5 minutes to spare! Good to be home. I can't believe I've been gone for a month already, it doesn't feel like it. Guess that's the blessing of being so busy. I have two days to get around and see my family so guess this is going to go fast too! Going to church at Shma' Israel this morning, probably Ginghamsburg tomorrow, so that is getting squeezed in also. Please keep us in your prayers, as we live the adventure! No income from me....temporary job for Brad.... isn't God funny???
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Meltdown
Had a meltdown today. Couldn't make myself get up go to class...prayer room, or group. Just wanted to be alone, and so tired. SO tired. Our leaders call this "drinking from the fire hydrant" and now I see why. The intensity, shear volume of information, and presence of God all work to create quite a shift from my normal daily life. I slept till 1pm...(I'm embarrassed...felt like such a slug) and got up, putzed around the apartment, cleaning a little, did my laundry which was nice with everyone out of our building. Worked on my homework assignment for tomorrow which is an Apostolic prayer from Ephesians 3:16 - 19;
...that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth, and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
As I meditated on this scripture, I realized that in the traditional church, we don't like emotion. Just give me the facts...the written truth and I can make a decision based on that. And those of us who have broken loose from the institutional church, have merely moved into polite, sophisticated gladness. But God is emotional. And He wants us to experience His love through His word, and His care for our lives, but also through our emotions, feeling His love for us. We can't live on emotion, but its an important part of any relationship, and you can't refuse to include it in your relationship with Him. What gives Him joy and pleasure, should give us joy and pleasure, what hurts Him, should hurt us. And most importantly...we need to feel His pleasure for us. You were made to dance, shout, wail, and mourn.
He's not talking the facts in this prayer...He's talking feeling....the breadth, width, depth and height of His love. To be rooted and grounded in THAT...that will fill up what is lacking in love in our hearts, both for God and people, to say nothing about also giving us confidence in His love for us. This emotional connection surpasses knowledge. It's intimacy.
What a powerful prayer to pray for someone, especially the church in this day. As we approach the time when Jesus is coming back, this heart connection will be more and more important. The facts will not hold you steady...it's His love for you and your love for Him.
This is going round and round in my head....so though I skipped school...and did nothing major for God today, I have felt His pleasure. It was just me and Him, on our "luxurious couch." (Songs 1:16)
This was my prayer all day yesterday...Songs 1:1-4
May He kiss me with the kisses of His mouth! (His word)
For your love is better than wine.
Your oils have a pleasing fragrance (oil speaks of the Holy Spirit and our relationship)
Your name is like purified oil; Therefore the maidens love you.
Draw me after you and let us run together!
The King has brought me into His chambers.
Praying for a good soak in His love for you all.....
...that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth, and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
As I meditated on this scripture, I realized that in the traditional church, we don't like emotion. Just give me the facts...the written truth and I can make a decision based on that. And those of us who have broken loose from the institutional church, have merely moved into polite, sophisticated gladness. But God is emotional. And He wants us to experience His love through His word, and His care for our lives, but also through our emotions, feeling His love for us. We can't live on emotion, but its an important part of any relationship, and you can't refuse to include it in your relationship with Him. What gives Him joy and pleasure, should give us joy and pleasure, what hurts Him, should hurt us. And most importantly...we need to feel His pleasure for us. You were made to dance, shout, wail, and mourn.
He's not talking the facts in this prayer...He's talking feeling....the breadth, width, depth and height of His love. To be rooted and grounded in THAT...that will fill up what is lacking in love in our hearts, both for God and people, to say nothing about also giving us confidence in His love for us. This emotional connection surpasses knowledge. It's intimacy.
What a powerful prayer to pray for someone, especially the church in this day. As we approach the time when Jesus is coming back, this heart connection will be more and more important. The facts will not hold you steady...it's His love for you and your love for Him.
This is going round and round in my head....so though I skipped school...and did nothing major for God today, I have felt His pleasure. It was just me and Him, on our "luxurious couch." (Songs 1:16)
This was my prayer all day yesterday...Songs 1:1-4
May He kiss me with the kisses of His mouth! (His word)
For your love is better than wine.
Your oils have a pleasing fragrance (oil speaks of the Holy Spirit and our relationship)
Your name is like purified oil; Therefore the maidens love you.
Draw me after you and let us run together!
The King has brought me into His chambers.
Praying for a good soak in His love for you all.....
Saturday, October 10, 2009
On the run....
Not much time to write...shower and out the door. I just got a little window of Internet connection and am pounding the keys trying to get everything done before it disappears! School is amazing....more than that...just don't have words. Hope everyone who lives nearby and has this night and day is aware of their blessing! Yesterday during worship the joy of the Lord just filled me up to overflow...the freedom and fearlessness just overflowed....I just had to....CONGA!!!! Yes...conga...guess that's childlike faith being expressed? It was a blast...Had to wrestle with some things afterwards, but Satan never likes you to have fun with God. We shouldn't be surprised at his fiery darts after something like that. And the part of our own souls that has grown hard, sophisticated, afraid or jaded....that will keep you from dancing. There is freedom here because this is not business as usual. These are glad people...their hearts are glad. It's been a long time since my heart was glad. I've had little tastes, and moments of it in the last year and a half or so....kind of like a "taste and see that the Lord is good!" moment to make me hungry. Jesus will woo us and wine and dine us and we will remember our first love, if we make that choice to take our eye's off worthless things, and pursue Him. And it's love that makes a disciple. Not duty...not being compelled under pressure, not religious beliefs and rules, or trying to be good. It's being in love with your maker.
Songs 8:6
Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death, jealousy is as severe as the grave
Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love, Nor will rivers overflow it.
If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, it would be utterly despised.
Pray though that scripture and meditate on it a while. Many things will overcome our zeal...nothing will overcome our love.
Songs 8:6
Put me like a seal over your heart, Like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death, jealousy is as severe as the grave
Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love, Nor will rivers overflow it.
If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, it would be utterly despised.
Pray though that scripture and meditate on it a while. Many things will overcome our zeal...nothing will overcome our love.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Sukkot
I am learning about the holiday, Sukkot, or Feast of Tabernacles at FFOZ , "Camping out with God." (ffoz.org)
Anyway...I thought...except for the outdoor part...and being vulnerable to the elements, that's kind of what I'm doing here. Camping out with God, totally depending on Him. I'm realizing what a gift I've been given. There are over 100 people who apply for school here, EVERY DAY, from countries all over the world. They can't get in until the school gets their accreditation. Once that is in place, the flood gates will open, and literally thousands of students will come here, from every country imaginable. I realized the privilege of my seat in class with the thought that so many would give anything to be in my place.....the incredible gift of 3 months freedom from responsibility to pursue intimacy with Jesus, and camp out with God.
For over a year now, I committed to go on a retreat once a month, just overnight up at Maria Stein. It has become one of the most important disciplines I have developed in my walk with Jesus, and God willing I will never stop doing it, in one form or another. Jesus did it...it's imperative if we really want to connect with the heart of God.
Gwen had a dream last night. She and I went out to dinner. We each got a steak, and ate only the best center part out of it. Gwen then told her husband Dennis, "we have to go to this amazing restaurant." It was a luxurious hotel/restaurant with nouvelle (sp?)cuisine. The waiter was amazing, taking care of only them the entire time. When the bill came for the two dinners, it was $499.00!! She said she felt bad because Dennis was paying for it, but he took it in stride like it was nothing, and it didn't lesson his enjoyment of the experience.
We both realized, as she related this, that God was giving us a picture of our husbands, and what they were doing for us. Both of them layed down their own desires (lives)to give us this time to pursue God. They are paying a pretty steep cost, taking on our responsibilities, and sacrificing so that we can obey God's call on our lives. And doing it cheerfully...which you know God loves that cheerful giver!!
Brad also sacrificed having my income....a dicey thing at the moment with him having a temporary job, though God has been faithful, even giving him overtime. We don't know what the full cost will be to follow Jesus in this life, but we know that ultimately....it's nothing compared to the "incomparable riches found in Christ."
I'm getting the "filet mignon" for the moment, and Brad's getting the bill, but I pray that next time, he's the one dining.
I told someone once, that Brad was my "Jesus with skin on." That's not as sacrilegious as it sounds....we are to be Christ' hands and feet in this world. Brad is God's practical, earthly way of hugging me, loving me, providing for me. Thank you for your obedience Brad, and for covering me with your blessing. We may be sowing in tears, but I'm already reeping a great harvest, before it hardly hits the ground! What an awesome God we have! What a special husband I've been given!
Anyway...I thought...except for the outdoor part...and being vulnerable to the elements, that's kind of what I'm doing here. Camping out with God, totally depending on Him. I'm realizing what a gift I've been given. There are over 100 people who apply for school here, EVERY DAY, from countries all over the world. They can't get in until the school gets their accreditation. Once that is in place, the flood gates will open, and literally thousands of students will come here, from every country imaginable. I realized the privilege of my seat in class with the thought that so many would give anything to be in my place.....the incredible gift of 3 months freedom from responsibility to pursue intimacy with Jesus, and camp out with God.
For over a year now, I committed to go on a retreat once a month, just overnight up at Maria Stein. It has become one of the most important disciplines I have developed in my walk with Jesus, and God willing I will never stop doing it, in one form or another. Jesus did it...it's imperative if we really want to connect with the heart of God.
Gwen had a dream last night. She and I went out to dinner. We each got a steak, and ate only the best center part out of it. Gwen then told her husband Dennis, "we have to go to this amazing restaurant." It was a luxurious hotel/restaurant with nouvelle (sp?)cuisine. The waiter was amazing, taking care of only them the entire time. When the bill came for the two dinners, it was $499.00!! She said she felt bad because Dennis was paying for it, but he took it in stride like it was nothing, and it didn't lesson his enjoyment of the experience.
We both realized, as she related this, that God was giving us a picture of our husbands, and what they were doing for us. Both of them layed down their own desires (lives)to give us this time to pursue God. They are paying a pretty steep cost, taking on our responsibilities, and sacrificing so that we can obey God's call on our lives. And doing it cheerfully...which you know God loves that cheerful giver!!
Brad also sacrificed having my income....a dicey thing at the moment with him having a temporary job, though God has been faithful, even giving him overtime. We don't know what the full cost will be to follow Jesus in this life, but we know that ultimately....it's nothing compared to the "incomparable riches found in Christ."
I'm getting the "filet mignon" for the moment, and Brad's getting the bill, but I pray that next time, he's the one dining.
I told someone once, that Brad was my "Jesus with skin on." That's not as sacrilegious as it sounds....we are to be Christ' hands and feet in this world. Brad is God's practical, earthly way of hugging me, loving me, providing for me. Thank you for your obedience Brad, and for covering me with your blessing. We may be sowing in tears, but I'm already reeping a great harvest, before it hardly hits the ground! What an awesome God we have! What a special husband I've been given!
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