The Journey Continues

One thing is sure....change. I'm really learning to keep a little equilibrium because nothing is permanent except death. I can be despairing one minute, on top of the world, the next. I read a line in a book about someone who was experiencing trouble, and said "under the circumstances" they were doing well. In the next moment, realizing what they said, they got an epiphany....what is any believer doing living "under the circumstances?"
Huh.
Amen...we need to learn to live ABOVE our circumstances. To rest in the truth even when our circumstances appear to be saying something radically different.
This amazing season we have just had has taught me a couple very important lessons. He meant it when He said He would never leave us or forsake us.
And even more, He is trustworthy. Oh, how He has proven His love!

Birds and Lilies.....

We have been living in an RV in the Malone's driveway. An old RV....an old... moldy....RV. And while grateful for a roof and bed, it was hard. We had been living out of a bedroom in Gerry's house for a year, then into a hot, moldy bedroom in Jamaica, and now this. I guess we have so much of that American gluttony for comfort, the Lord has been determined to purge it out, or at least help us to see what is in our hearts, whether we want to or not!
Well....Abba had something up His sleeve....we are now living in a 3500 sq.ft. home on a Lake in Victorville California! A gift of a lovely Korean sister, who is allowing our mission staff to live there and enjoy her amazing home. After a hot day in the desert...believe me...this is an Oasis! She has given it to us, rent free, CRI only pays utilities. What a gift! We currently have 8 mission staff living there...some temporary, and 3 of us permanent full time. It's surreal to come home to such a huge, beautiful place and sit on our back patio which is directly on the water. I couldn't have rented a place like this for a week when I was working, let alone get to live in it for any length of time! I may be back in an RV at some point, or a tent....but knowing God always is looking out for my comfort and needs, makes me realize...I don't have to. I don't have to worry about what I eat, what I wear, or where I live....I'm like the ducks swimming by the patio without a worry....
25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? .

BAM!

And I got a revelation of deceit in my heart first thing this morning. Ouch...yuck...I agree with you God, and Thank you. Quick answer to prayer.

Heart, Mind and Conduct

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve."” Jeremiah 17:9-10 NIV

Pastor Watson quoted the above today on FB. I was dealing with a problem of someone saying the right things, but in the end, not doing them. I think that probably qualifies as that "deceitful heart." Our hearts can be so deceitful that we won't know what's in them.....only the Lord can understand it. I feel like that some days....I can't get a handle on my motives sometimes of why I do what I do. I have to ask the Lord to show me. I know this...we don't get a reward for "thinking" the right things....or "feeling" the right things. We get a reward for "doing" the right things. This is something to think on soberly...because part of the deceit is to believe because I think a certain way or feel a certain way, I'm actually doing it. I can remember being in prayer classes where we never prayed. All we did was talk about it. It felt like at the end we had done something...but we had not.
Lord examine my heart and mind...show me where I am deceived. In Jesus name, Amen

A kiss from Abba

So tonight we were given a cabin up at Big Bear Mountain to spend the weekend in. We sat out under the stars in a hot tub watching shooting stars everywhere! About 6 within an hour! So relaxing and the sky is incredible up here. After the last two days of pain and depression, this is such a blessing. I listened to Corey Starks message from June 10th about intercession, and felt my faith being stirred up and a little joy returning. Thank you Lord for the gift.

Paying the Price...

The cost is high tonight....not much seems to be going right...my heart is so lonely for my boys..Ava, Mom and Dad. I feel that desire to give in to the hopelessness....to say "the heck with it" and go home. To an easier life. Lot's of Christian's get up, go to work, raise families, and die well. What compels me to do what I am doing? Is it God or is it me? I don't know the answer to that tonight. Right now I just miss my family. Wonder if that will ever be any easier? I know He's worth it...worth anything He has ever given me and more..He's worth it all. But that knowledge just doesn't take the pain away. Holy Spirit come...and do what you love to do...comfort me. In Jesus name, Amen.

The Call to California

This was not on my grid. Which is good reason to not try and "figure" out the will of God. Because of circumstances in our lives, we assume things. When CRI asked us to help them move to California, I thought sure, but we aren't staying. I still don't know what we're doing, but I'm finding little affirmations, that this may be the place for us in this season. All could be written off as "circumstantial evidence" I suppose. But God is Jehovah Sneaky sometimes....if he had showed me this I would have probably went back home, opened the dog shop back up and went back to shaving poodles. This is a God sized work. In other words, impossible. Maybe that is what I sense as the difference between Jamaica and this House of Prayer in the desert. One is normal humanitarian work, done all over the world, but this? This is Noah stuff. This is building an ARK in the desert. I don't even know what to call, THIS. It would seem that It is all that has been stored up in my heart for 16 years, wrapped up in one big package. Actually...I think it's more than what was stored in my heart...an allusion He hinted at 16+ years ago when He burned up all the empty selfish works I was doing and offered me a blank contract, one with His dream instead. I think I don't understand fully what the vision was He gave me yet, and I don't think my heart is anywhere near big enough to do what this appears to be developing into. That's a good thing..that means it didn't come from my heart, and I'm not capable of pulling anything off myself. Yes indeedy....Jehovah Sneaky. Ya gotta love Him!

Ninevah

I'm thinking of Jonah....how God sent him somewhere, giving him a word that if he would intercede, and warn people, that Ninevah would be saved. So essentially....Jonah runs away because He knows what's going to happen. He would go to Ninevah, preach repentance and give the warning, people would repent and disaster would be averted. Sounds like a formula for success. Except, that knowing God's mercy, Jonah, I think, knows he's going to look like a fool. He's going to say, "tragedy is coming unless you repent." And when they do...guess what? God relents and blesses. So people will say..."oh, nothing was going to happen anyway. Your crazy." But it will be justified in the end. We don't need to worry about what people think or say. What matters are lives in the balance, and being obedient. So if God says, "go to Ninevah!" Go. And if He says, "build an ark in the desert." Well.....start choppin' wood....

Update on Alvin

Well..today was the day! I was so excited to get to the Infirmary and get the God Squad to Alvin and have them do their thing. I got a surprise though! Before I left Alvin last Friday, I, in desperation, laid hands on Alvin and prayed for God to remove his pain and I also asked anyone reading my blog to pray. I prayed for his gut to begin to work and for his body to come into alignment with the word of God. I take the boys to his bedside, and there....is smiling Alvin. I say, hey ( kind of in disbelief)....are you feeling better?! He smiles and says, yes..I'm getting some relief. I asked him if he felt like eating a little...and he said he thought so. I introduced the boys, and told him these young men are here to pray for you, and such is their belief, that God answers if they ask, so can we pray for you again now. He says he would be blessed if we would, and after talking a minute says, "I'm going to close my eye's now"....Jamaican, for "GET ON WITH IT!" So once more, I laid hands on his abdomen, and the boys also, they began to take authority over his body and declare the truth over this poor, crippled clay that Alvin is captured in. I'm so anxious to get up there this Wednesday and see how he is. I had went to visit Leslie also, and after praying for his eye's which were horribly infected when I first arrived, they are now clear and pain free. ?????? I think the Lord is trying to tell me something. To stop being afraid to ask, and not to just ask, but to take authority...the authority He has given me, because of Christ, and do the greater things He promised we would do. I ended up praying for a young women at church Sunday who had fibroid tumors. She was from Kingston and just passing through. Pastor asked Brad and I to pray for those who came forward...felt kind of sorry and hoped Pastor would come over and back us up at some point. I took authority over her body and commanded the tumors to leave, and for full restoration. Afterwards, I hooked her up with Pastor Watson's church in Kingston, and hope we hear back from her. Now...I find myself expecting to have an answer to that prayer.
Now..I'm not bragging...I'm surprised. I'm on a huge learning curve here, and when you work in a place that has no hope apart from the Lord, well....He shows up. We can't turn to medical science.....money.....people. It just isn't available, for the most part. But Jesus is...24/7-365. This is what I wanted...to see God @ work. We Americans depend on our paychecks, our 401K's, our Dr.'s and Lawyers. I knew all that and more, entertainment, lifestyle, and fear just naming a few, was in the way of being in the midst of what God was doing in the earth. I just couldn't take Western Christianity anymore. I'm in love. I don't want a casual relationship with Jesus... I want marriage. All or nothing. All or nothing.

HAPPY RESURRECTION DAY!!

Alvin

Am pondering the fact that the power that raised Jesus from the grave has been made available to me.I went to the Infirmary yesterday. Alvin is a personal favorite of mine, who has been in the Infirmary for 20+ years, bedridden. He always is sunny, ready with a smile and a "you look marvelous today Lisa!" That always makes me laugh out loud! He loves to talk , encourage, and is a very bright man. I noticed the last time he had a rag over his face, and thought, he's asleep and doesn't want to be disturbed. I went yesterday then and the rag is still over his face. I asked him if he was alright. He said, no...I'm in horrible pain. I'm constipated, and the medicine they give me isn't working, and they aren't giving me anything else. I prayed for him, for God to remove the pain, and told him I would talk with someone and see what could be done. I told Marla, and she said Alvin has bowel cancer. So most likely, he has a blockage, that will not be relieved, he is not a candidate for surgery here as Jamaica has socialized medicine. Americans take note of that. Anyway, there is no pain medication either, so Alvin will lie there and suffer a terrible death it seems. I have struggled with my faith in the area of healing. 2 of my good friends were prayed for in total sincerity and belief and both died. Not very pleasantly I might add. I know the confidence must be in God and in my relationship with Him, but this is just something I struggle with still....praying in faith for the sick. And frankly....I don't pray that he be healed of cancer. For what? To lay there in a filthy bed another 20 years? God forbid. But just that his pain be relieved. I just don't think such suffering is his portion. I asked Pastor Watson if he goes up there, because the boys sometimes come up and help us. He agreed to take the "God Squad" as I have dubbed them and go pray for Alvin. I'm so relieved, and so grateful. I have every confidence God will work through them, because it happens all the time with these guys, such is their faith. If you read this...please lift up Alvin to his Father.....that the Lord will draw near and pour out His love and encounter Alvin in a new way...that he know he isn't abandoned. And that his pain be removed that he might pass peacefully from this life to his real home. Not a filthy bed...no longer bedridden...seated at the banqueting table with his Lord. Jesus...look upon Alvin and touch his poor body. Please take his pain away that he may not suffer more in this life, but come home in peace. In Jesus name. Amen.

Re-bless from The Year of Loving Dangerously

RE-bless: when God uses a previous word you had forgotten and completely blesses you over again!


One of the first revelations I received, was from EGS (Encounter God Service on Friday nights at IHOP) , Corey Russel preaching outing of John 17.
The Father loves me the way He loves Jesus.
Jesus is interceding for me. Will the Father not answer His prayers? Of course He will! Jesus is praying for me and I am not stronger than the Father! John 17:26…so that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in them. The same pleasure the Father has in Jesus He has in me. That’s blowing my mind. 
I receive that Lord, and I renounce every lie about your character from the enemy. You are Good. You are gracious. You are slow to anger. You are anxious to have mercy. You are faithful. You do not lie. You stay the same. There is no shadow of turning in You. You see my heart and accept me. I believe and receive this. I will rest in it.

Swan Dive

Water From the Temple
Ezekiel 47
The day before our flight to Jamaica, I was captured by this chapter of Ezekiel.
At IHOP, since November of 09, we experienced what we labeled an “awakening.”
The Holy Spirit began to move in power in a way I had not personally witnessed before.
I actually stood back for a couple days just observing and praying. Having witnessed a lot of exaggerated, and postured charismatic activity years ago, I got burned out on that kind of thing. What I didn’t know then and may have kept me from cynicism and withdrawl, was that any move of God will have our “flesh” in it. We, unfortunately, are all He has to work with. So consider that! People, not because they are wanting to deceive, but because they want a touch from God so badly, may exaggerate or even pretend to manifest the Spirit. But in the midst of all that, is the Holy Spirit at work, teaching, leading, guiding us into the power of God. We’re like toddlers in a play pen, and we have to learn to steward His power, and use it in Holiness and righteousness....something we are NOT prone to.
I say all that so that we are not ignorant or afraid when the River is poured out....because it starts ankle deep, then knee deep and pretty soon...if you don’t know how to swim, your not gonna jump in! Your going to stand on the shore and criticize the weaknesses, and how everyone is doing it ‘wrong”, instead of receiving what God wants to give you.
And you want this.....

"It will come about that every living creature which swims in every place where the river goes will live. And there will be very many fish, for these waters go there and the others become fresh; so everything will live where the river goes. "

WOO HOO! Not only that but there is “fruit” for food and “leaves” for healing. The water does that....because “it flows from from the sanctuary.

It's starts in the place of Prayer and Intimacy. I want to Swan Dive into this thing!

I'm Rich!

I had an epiphany last week. I was saying good bye to my oldest son, Aaron as I was being dropped at the airport, flying back to Kansas City, to finish getting ready for this trip. As always it was extremely painful, especially since he has gone through so much turmoil and personal pain in the last year. On top of that, my four year old grand daughter was in her carseat, downcast and sad because I was leaving...again.
It hit me as I went weeping, into the airport, that the reason that it’s so painful, is not because it’s “bad” to leave, (something I struggle with each time because it “feels” bad) but because my life is so rich. I have so many people I love and am in precious relationship with. I can’t stand to leave any of them. The worst pain is family...but then also dear friends, old and new. I may not know some of them for years, but God has sown them into my heart and given me His love for them. Like Jamaica...the patients of the Infirmary...how special they are to my heart. Other’s have been with me a long time..through thick and thin, pain and joy, weeping and laughing. Still, the newest of my relationships...barely begun through IHOP and CRI...how jealous I am to know them more. They are so extraordinary, with fiery tender hearts for the hurting, lost and wounded. Like Mary of Bethany, they have chosen the “better” thing and are being transformed into something so beautiful.
So when I’m home, and it’s time to go...pain. When I’m in Kansas City, and it’s time to go...yet more pain. When I’m in Jamaica and it’s time to go..pain, pain, pain.
What a privilege. To mourn means you have loved. It means you have something in your life, worth grieving for. How rich am I?

So here I am once more, in beloved Jamaica...I’m going to receive all the joy, laughter, love, sweat and tears it has to offer. And become richer still.

To my family who have had their share of pain because of my journey...because of these choices I make...I say rejoice! We’re rich! Isn’t it wonderful to love one another so much, we don’t want to be apart! ( you can slap me later :-)

Wondering what tomorrow will bring..........give us all dreams and visions Lord...just like you promised, and are even now, pouring out on men and women, young and old. Release your power! In Jesus name!

Old friends...

We are visiting friends we made in our very first home group in Ohio. Jeff and Cat joined us before they were even married. Brad and I served communion at their wedding! Now, many years later, with two young son's, we are spending a few days reconnecting in Virginia, in beautiful Basye, in the Shenandoah valley. It is so beautiful...very peaceful. Generous as they have always been, they rented us a small condo, so we have privacy. So it's ending up being a little retreat as well. Cat, Liam and I assembled 3 Adirondack chairs this morning, while Brad, Jeff and Lucas put flooring in the basement. Liam and I took a small play time break and built some silly looking creatures with some of his toys, and also read 5 books! He likes to read!
It's funny...with some people..no matter how many years go by, you still feel connected. I call those my God connections. It's not that way with everyone.
God used Cat and Jeff in a major way to send me on my first mission trip to Jamaica. They supported me several other trips, including buying me a computer, so that I could stay connected while on mission, and for my writing. So they have had a large part in God's call on my life. I'm grateful and humbled by their investment in me and in God's mission to other's. Beautiful people...God has 'em everywhere!

Home

Home again. Or is it???

Kingston

Went to Kingston today. It's a beautiful, if tiring drive of switchback roads all the way up and back down out of the foothills of the Blue Mountains. Views worthy of National Geographic! We went to the Suncoast Adventure Park, a tourist attraction of sorts, on the mountainous edge of the ocean outside of Kingston. A man Marla met, has developed it into a recreational attraction of Paintball, miniature golf, rope course and zipline, a huge outdoor maze, plus playground for younger children. There is a sandwich place in a Quonset style hut, where you can get burgers and hot dogs and fries. Then you can take a steep mountain road down to the black sand beaches and play in the Atlantic. It's still being developed, and a great alternative to the commercialized Ocho Rios day trips that are the norm. http://www.suncoastadventurepark.com/
Then we stopped at Pastor Watson's church in Kingston and got the tour of his facilities and met his dedicated staff. After that we went to what was similar to a Costco in the States and bought food and supplies for the hotel for the next three months! It took 9 people over 1 and a half hours to shop and get it loaded in the bus! Back to the hotel for dinner, American hamburgers and fries, and we are exhausted! A good day! Tomorrow is the last day for us, as we will be leaving Thursday, so we are hoping to meet with Debbie Chin, before we go, our new friend in Oracabessa. I'm always full of mixed feelings when I leave here. It feels natural and homelike to me....who can tell...next trip might be much, much longer!

Frangipani Caterpillar

Is born in the dirt under the tree...comes out, eats the leaves and flowers, cocoons and turns into the Hawk Moth. HUGE.

Sabbath

The Lord led me to Isaiah 62 this morning....I am declaring it over Jamaica!

For Zion's sake I will not keep silent,
And for Jerusalem's sake I will not keep quiet,
Until her righteousness goes forth like brightness,
and her salvation like a torch that is burning.
The nations will see your righteousness,
And all kings your glory;
And you will be called by a new name
Which the mouth of the Lord will designate.
You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord,
And a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken,"
Nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate";
But you will be called "my delight is in her, "
and your land "Married";
For the Lord delights in you, And to HIM your land will be married.
For as a young man marries a virgin, So your sons will marry you; And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, So your God will rejoice over you.

How did that happen?

Ended up with a basket and a carved fish, neither which I originally intended to buy. I was looking for Djembe's and Steel Drums, t-shirts and for Ava. I meet a guy who weasels me into his stall in the straw market and fast talks me into a carving, which I really did like and was tempted to buy, but was way out of my "non" existent budget. He kept saying, what is your budget? You can tell me, I'm your friend, I won't be insulted. But my budget WAS insulting..not just to him but to me! We got to talking, and I told him, I'm not a tourist, I'm a missionary, and he asked where I was staying and I said in Galina. He said at the "Breeze"? He's from Galina, himself and knows Marshall one of the employee's here. His name was Donavan, and we ended up having a conversation about the Lord, and His return! Bam! I leave with a carving! But I got something I wanted as a gift, so it wasn't a complete fleecing.
The next was a lady with baskets. I've always wanted to get one, but too much money. She also says she won't be insulted, make an offer....rolls her eye's when I say $20. I said, "I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE INSULTING!" She says no, no, and before I know it, $25 lighter in the wallet, and the laying on of hands and praying for her and her children, I walk away with a basket! I left without making eye contact with anyone else. Live and Learn.

Ochi!

Today, we have two farms to stop at then we will be going to Ocho Rios to pick up a couple people. We will have lunch there and go to the market while we wait on these new friends to show up. The day is perfect, sunny but actually on the cool side for Jamaica.
Hoping to find a real African Djembe, and a steel drum reasonably. But who knows what the day will hold. Divine appointments! Miracles! Healing!

Dreams...

I had a dream last night..we were at a restaurant and it was New Years. There were lots of old school mates there, people I haven't seen for 33 years or more! They were all glad to see me, and there was Christian music playing in the restaurant instead of what you would expect in a public place at New Years. Somehow we either slept over somewhere, it gets confusing, but my Dad was there, just smiling at me. I think I said, I've got to get together so I can get back to Jamaica. He said, "the hands and feet of Christ." Smiling...just smiling.

How could I forget????

Pastor Watson and Brad laid hands on me while other's agreed in prayer for my back and it has been healed! Just wanted to thank Abba, and testify of His goodness all the time!

Beauty in many forms!

Jelly

Day 4

We've had full and wonderful day...we got up and went to the hardware store for a few things for Brad's carpentry job at the new ACE office, then off to see our farmers/micro business applicants. David is a very forward thinking young man with a lot of ambition, and a hard worker to say the very least. The rudimentary tools he uses to make his huge garden is unbelievable. ACE will be helping him with slow drip irrigation system, seeds among other things. He will raise his own food, and sell produce in his small town. Another applicant, Diane, is living back a long lane in the jungle in a plywood hut with her children, barely making it. ACE will help her to learn square foot box gardening, to feed her family. They were very gracious and gave us some "jelly" to drink and eat. Jelly is something Jamaicans are fond of, and consist of green coconut water and the slimy gel that coats the inside of the coconut....it was really hard to swallow, but didn't taste bad. It brings down blood pressure. Brad, ever the gastric adventurer, didn't hesitate. Mr. Meyer said it is very good to poor rum into the coconut...I'm thinking that might not be a bad idea...at least you eventually would forget your slurping down something slimy!
After our day viewing the gardens, we came back and got ready to take dinner to the Infirmary. Shirley's special vegetable soup! After we got them fed and a cup of cool water, we were done for the day! I was so proud of Brad...this is so NOT his type of work but he patiently fed elderly gentlemen that couldn't feed themselves and chatted encouragingly. He said it was grace and he would scrub Terry's toilet if he didn't have to go back when it's time to clip toe and fingernails! Some of my favorites are sadly missing, having passed away while I've been gone...other's much changed...deteriorating and aging quickly. Everything changes....
We went down to the rock before dinner and took in the view for awhile, it's really beautiful, and I'm so glad to finally share it with Brad.

We're all just girls...

Good Morning Abba!

Welcome Home..

The custom's agent took a look at my passport...6 Jamaican entry stamps, smiled and said "welcome home!" Prophetic?? Hmmmm
Had a great flight...such a blessing, Eli's job. First class seats! I'm spoiled Abba! We arrived after stopping for a quick peek at the new church that is scheduled to begin around the end of February. Tomorrow will be an overview of all of Marla's projects, with a possible stop at the Infirmary! I've heard several residents have passed, and I'm afraid to ask who...instead I will try and focus on who's there to love, and praise Him for those in Heaven with Him! We will relax tonight..full moon on the ocean. The devil is messin' around and threw my back out, and Brad and I have since thrown him out...but the trek to the "rock" might be a bit much with the spasms. Finish him off Papa and get me in working order for the week. Amen.