Crash and burn.....guess it's all caught up with me. 3 days out with pneumonia. Feeling much better today, and certain now I'm going to live. What was even better than finding a good Dr. who listened to me, was then going to the prayer room on the way home and having a bunch of people lay hands on me and pray. It's one of the things I will miss about living here. Walking by limping on a crutch and people just reaching out to touch you, in the coffee shop, prayer room, where ever, "be healed".
I was having such hard broncho spasms, with a severly infected throat also, asthma, pneumonia, but the spasms stopped with the prayer and I could breath deeply again. I was so sore from coughing. I had not slept in over two days, so was exhausted. They prayed for my sleep, lungs, immune system, Charlie had several words of knowledge, and God healed my hip, an injury sustained a while back that I have been in and out of the chiropractor for. It had been hurting on the way back from the Dr. I thought..well, why not...if your on a roll, go God! I'll take whatever He wants to give me! It had not even occured for me to ask for healing for that until Gwen told me she asked God to heal her chronic neck injury from years ago. Then it was like...well yeah...why would we not ask God for these things? Are we that unbelieving? The church just doesn't look much different from the world...."where can a young man go to find deliverance" was the question asked by a prophetic man, right before this move of God here in Kansas City happened.
Indeed....if not the church, where?
Rev 3:2-3
2 Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die, for I have not found your works perfect before God. 3 Remember therefore how you have received and heard; hold fast and repent. Therefore if you will not watch, I will come upon you as a thief, and you will not know what hour I will come upon you
NKJV
Selah
Friday, November 20, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Beauty in the eye of THE beholder!
During our outpouring of the Holy Spirit here, God is doing all kinds of things in me. I have always struggled with feelings of worthlessness. What woman doesn't probably, especially American women, who are fed such a warped standard of beauty. But the problem is, all have bought into the standard and judge one another by it also. Yesterday evening, an elderly gentleman and his wife who are in my class, after I finished praying for a women, told me the Lord told him to tell me that He (the Lord) is proud of me, and that though I am beautiful outside, I am even more beautiful inside. I started crying as he was telling me, because even as I was praying for the women in front of me to understand her worth and beauty in the eye's of the Lord, I realized I didn't believe it for myself, so how could I pray for her??? I ended up praying for both of us! If we don't understand our beauty in God's eye's, we also can't understand the deepest part of His love. If we aren't receiving His love, we will not love others, or Him. Earl keeps repeating it to me, telling me to receive it, like he knows I'm not...(because God is showing him I'm not!)
As I wrote this in my journal, kind of sarcastically I say, "God's standard of beauty is not the same as most." And it hits me. It's God's view that is the truth...not America's view. I had believed the lie. God said I was beautiful...and not just internally....externally, He sees me as beautiful too. And you know what? For the first time in my life, I feel beautiful. Not even when I was 20 years old and 110lbs. did I feel as beautiful as I do now, at 50 and fluffy. So America, reject me....I have the eye of my Maker, and He has the only opinion that counts! What's more, as I looked around the room at the hundreds of people attending tonight's meeting, I'm seeing beauty like never before. I just didn't have eye's for it, because I believed the wrong information. We were all stunning! I could see them as He sees them.
God is not a liar, like man, When He tells you, your beautiful...a lilly among thorns, Hephzibah! Tirzah! Believe Him. He always tells you the truth. It's all about what He thinks. And it's all about love. Good bye, self hatred. Hello georgeous! Deliverance looks great on me! (heard that in a testimony!) HA!
As I wrote this in my journal, kind of sarcastically I say, "God's standard of beauty is not the same as most." And it hits me. It's God's view that is the truth...not America's view. I had believed the lie. God said I was beautiful...and not just internally....externally, He sees me as beautiful too. And you know what? For the first time in my life, I feel beautiful. Not even when I was 20 years old and 110lbs. did I feel as beautiful as I do now, at 50 and fluffy. So America, reject me....I have the eye of my Maker, and He has the only opinion that counts! What's more, as I looked around the room at the hundreds of people attending tonight's meeting, I'm seeing beauty like never before. I just didn't have eye's for it, because I believed the wrong information. We were all stunning! I could see them as He sees them.
God is not a liar, like man, When He tells you, your beautiful...a lilly among thorns, Hephzibah! Tirzah! Believe Him. He always tells you the truth. It's all about what He thinks. And it's all about love. Good bye, self hatred. Hello georgeous! Deliverance looks great on me! (heard that in a testimony!) HA!
Friday, November 13, 2009
God is God and I'm Not....duh
Ok....so there is this move of the Holy Spirit here at IHOP. Mind you...they have been praying and worshipping 24/7, 365 days a year since 1999, and this has never happened. They have been patient....they have waited, not tried to fabricate or produce revival "symptoms" or manifestations. I was really confused. Having been deceived before, I am a cautious, to the point of paranoia at times, "gentle" charismatic. I have seen so much ego and "flesh" in this sort of thing, that I'm actually more a skeptic, than even cautious. Human beings can just be such messes, present company and writer, the poster child for such messes.....
God, through a book I have, showed me a story about Elijah. How he sent Elijah out to the brook Cherith and told him to hide himself. He said you'll drink from the brook Cherith, and I'll send ravens to feed you.
To Elijah, a prophet of God, capitol P, this would have been offensive. In Levitcus 11, the law said to avoid these unclean birds, who were scavengers, birds of prey.
(I find it interesting that the root of the word Cherith means to destroy, specifically to covenant. I'm not sure I understand the meaning behind that yet...it was just curious to me.
OT:3772
karath (kaw-rath'); a primitive root; to cut (off, down or asunder); by implication, to destroy or consume; specifically, to covenant (i.e. make an alliance or bargain, originally by cutting flesh and passing between the pieces):)
As a prophet, Elijah knew the word of God. He not only knew it, he lived, ate, and breathed it. He walked in power in it. This was a man dead to himself, and alive to God. But as Art Katz writes, we sometimes have "to relinquish our own spiritual correctness. The only one that can pass through that threshhold is not someone who is indifferent or casual to the scriptures. It is the person who is most insistent upon the truth of them."
Basically...God is God, and He can do what He wants. If He wants to exceed or "seem" to contradict Himself, in His wisdom, can we trust Him and remain secure in our relationship?" Art asks.
This isn't to say we shouldn't always look to the scriptures for the measurement of truth. That IS the yardstick of truth. But if God wants to move outside of that box, beyond the end of that yardstick....well.....I'm not gonna stop Him, and neither are you. You can only refuse what He is trying to give or send.
So what did I find in my soul today? Pride. Tons of fear, TONS. A misunderstanding, of understanding.....wha,huh?
Our Greek way of thinking that is rife in the American church, always must understand and define. Jews are ok with God's mysterious seeming contradictions. He's God. He can be one thing AND another. They are comfortable with that. I think that is a good thing to grasp hold of. So from now on, God can be God. (aren't you relieved Lord?) He can be this today, that tomorrow. Both the next day.
If He wants to move in a way that offends me to get at something in me, like pride, fear, control, having to understand everything, define it, label it and file it.....He can do that. In fact, I say Yes, God and Amen. If it's good in your sight, it's good.
Having said all that...how then do we know if something is of God, if He moves beyond or outside of the letter of His scriptures?
The Lord reminded me today, you don't get good fruit from a bad tree. Examine the fruit. Fruit is not results....I always thought that good works was fruit. No..
Gal 5:22-25
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
NKJV
Examine the leader. If it is a person of integrity, manifesting the above fruit in increasing measure...and if they are, they have crucified their flesh, and you can trust that the move of God will be stewarded in integrity and wisdom, whether because of our human condition our flesh gets mixed in a little or not. And God will not cause us to sin, to bless us. He can't violate His own character.
So we don't have to fear deception. We need to use the Word, and wisdom God has given us to discern error. Knowing Satan appears as an angel of light, we must be diligent to observe, pray, and judge correctly. Not all that looks good, merciful,and beautiful, is. (2 Cor.11:14-15)
As we move towards the end of the age, deception will increase. The time is NOW..to get ready...to know our God. We don't have to be afraid...we need to be prepared. Jesus commanded us to know the time of our visitation. Not the day or hour..the season. Mark 13:32, Luke 21:7-36.
He is so faithful! Watch and pray!
God, through a book I have, showed me a story about Elijah. How he sent Elijah out to the brook Cherith and told him to hide himself. He said you'll drink from the brook Cherith, and I'll send ravens to feed you.
To Elijah, a prophet of God, capitol P, this would have been offensive. In Levitcus 11, the law said to avoid these unclean birds, who were scavengers, birds of prey.
(I find it interesting that the root of the word Cherith means to destroy, specifically to covenant. I'm not sure I understand the meaning behind that yet...it was just curious to me.
OT:3772
karath (kaw-rath'); a primitive root; to cut (off, down or asunder); by implication, to destroy or consume; specifically, to covenant (i.e. make an alliance or bargain, originally by cutting flesh and passing between the pieces):)
As a prophet, Elijah knew the word of God. He not only knew it, he lived, ate, and breathed it. He walked in power in it. This was a man dead to himself, and alive to God. But as Art Katz writes, we sometimes have "to relinquish our own spiritual correctness. The only one that can pass through that threshhold is not someone who is indifferent or casual to the scriptures. It is the person who is most insistent upon the truth of them."
Basically...God is God, and He can do what He wants. If He wants to exceed or "seem" to contradict Himself, in His wisdom, can we trust Him and remain secure in our relationship?" Art asks.
This isn't to say we shouldn't always look to the scriptures for the measurement of truth. That IS the yardstick of truth. But if God wants to move outside of that box, beyond the end of that yardstick....well.....I'm not gonna stop Him, and neither are you. You can only refuse what He is trying to give or send.
So what did I find in my soul today? Pride. Tons of fear, TONS. A misunderstanding, of understanding.....wha,huh?
Our Greek way of thinking that is rife in the American church, always must understand and define. Jews are ok with God's mysterious seeming contradictions. He's God. He can be one thing AND another. They are comfortable with that. I think that is a good thing to grasp hold of. So from now on, God can be God. (aren't you relieved Lord?) He can be this today, that tomorrow. Both the next day.
If He wants to move in a way that offends me to get at something in me, like pride, fear, control, having to understand everything, define it, label it and file it.....He can do that. In fact, I say Yes, God and Amen. If it's good in your sight, it's good.
Having said all that...how then do we know if something is of God, if He moves beyond or outside of the letter of His scriptures?
The Lord reminded me today, you don't get good fruit from a bad tree. Examine the fruit. Fruit is not results....I always thought that good works was fruit. No..
Gal 5:22-25
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
NKJV
Examine the leader. If it is a person of integrity, manifesting the above fruit in increasing measure...and if they are, they have crucified their flesh, and you can trust that the move of God will be stewarded in integrity and wisdom, whether because of our human condition our flesh gets mixed in a little or not. And God will not cause us to sin, to bless us. He can't violate His own character.
So we don't have to fear deception. We need to use the Word, and wisdom God has given us to discern error. Knowing Satan appears as an angel of light, we must be diligent to observe, pray, and judge correctly. Not all that looks good, merciful,and beautiful, is. (2 Cor.11:14-15)
As we move towards the end of the age, deception will increase. The time is NOW..to get ready...to know our God. We don't have to be afraid...we need to be prepared. Jesus commanded us to know the time of our visitation. Not the day or hour..the season. Mark 13:32, Luke 21:7-36.
He is so faithful! Watch and pray!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Desire of All Nations
Tomorrow starts the monthly Global Bridegroom fast. This is a voluntary thing they do here at IHOP. Jesus said in response to the criticism that his disciples did not fast, that they couldn't fast while the bridegroom was with them, but they soon would fast when he was taken away. (Mark 2:18-20) It's a fast for intimacy, a greater experience of His presence, and also a kind of mourning of love sickness for Jesus. The disciples lived with Him daily and grieved losing that physical presence of Jesus. They missed him.
For so long I didn't understand the ache of loneliness in my spirit. I kept medicating it. It didn't make sense. The more I learned about Jesus, His love for me, the worse it got. Being the good American I am, I pushed down the pain, and got sick. Now...I get it. I miss Him. I want Him to come back. We, as His Bride, were made for Him. We will never be satisfied with anything less.
Tomorrow, among other things, I'm fasting words. I've been convicted about my speech. God can't anoint my words and use them in power unless it is sanctified to Him. I'm not naive enough to think a 3 day fast, is going to complete that work, but it's an offering. He sees the "YES" in my spirit, and loves that!
There are people all over the world who participate in this fast, so it's powerful to think of us all joining together to fast and pray our desire for the Lord together.
Corey Russel, one of the teacher/preachers here said that our walk can be summed up in one word. Desire. He will give us His presence in direct proportion to our desire for Him. If we have little of His presence in our lives, we have to realize, we have as much of Him as we desire. Selah.
For so long I didn't understand the ache of loneliness in my spirit. I kept medicating it. It didn't make sense. The more I learned about Jesus, His love for me, the worse it got. Being the good American I am, I pushed down the pain, and got sick. Now...I get it. I miss Him. I want Him to come back. We, as His Bride, were made for Him. We will never be satisfied with anything less.
Tomorrow, among other things, I'm fasting words. I've been convicted about my speech. God can't anoint my words and use them in power unless it is sanctified to Him. I'm not naive enough to think a 3 day fast, is going to complete that work, but it's an offering. He sees the "YES" in my spirit, and loves that!
There are people all over the world who participate in this fast, so it's powerful to think of us all joining together to fast and pray our desire for the Lord together.
Corey Russel, one of the teacher/preachers here said that our walk can be summed up in one word. Desire. He will give us His presence in direct proportion to our desire for Him. If we have little of His presence in our lives, we have to realize, we have as much of Him as we desire. Selah.
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